Advice From a Sick Girl: 7 Things That Are Draining Your Energy

I live with an autoimmune disease, and one of my main symptoms is chronic fatigue. This means I am thoroughly exhausted day in and day out, and it’s not the normal kind of tired that goes away after a cup of coffee or a good night’s sleep.

I have a very limited amount of energy to spend throughout my day, and once it’s gone, it’s gone.

How I feel and how much energy I have each day is out of my control for the most part. However, through time and lots of trial and error, I have discovered some things that make me feel sicker, and some things that make me feel a little better.

I didn’t realize how crucial energy was until I got sick. I was 14 and a competitive rock climber when I developed autoimmunity. I went from being known for my strength and having a bottomless pit of energy to being chronically ill seemingly overnight.

I can tell you wholeheartedly that the amount of good energy you have is directly related to your quality of life.

Here are 7 things that drain a whole lot of my energy, and they are probably draining yours too.

1. Trying to control things beyond your control

Here’s how life goes: some things are within your control, some things aren’t.

You can’t control the weather, but you can control the clothes you wear.

You can be a good human being and treat people with love and kindness, but you still can’t control the thoughts and opinions other people have about you.

You can make your own decisions, work towards your goals, and do everything in your power to create a good life, but no matter what, there will always be some things that are simply beyond your control.

My life began to roll smoother when I let it.

I learned to accept that some things were simply in my illness’s hands. I roll by the ebb and flow of symptoms and flare-ups because it really is the only thing I can do.

I realized that if I can’t control these things anyway, there is no reason to waste my energy trying to, or worrying about it.

2. Worrying about what other people think of you

Goodness gracious, I hope one day I stop caring what other people think about me.

I worry about it way too much, and I always have. When I got sick though, suddenly all I could think about was what everyone else was thinking of me.

I couldn’t rest and listen to my body without worrying that people were judging me for it. Worrying that they would think I was just being dramatic or if I canceled on plans I wouldn’t be invited next time.

When I told people about my illness, I convinced myself half the people wouldn’t look at me the same again. That they would feel bad for me and think of me as fragile and weak, and the other half just thought I was faking or being dramatic.

I’m not sure why I put these in past tense because most of these thoughts still run through my head way too often. I guess I’m just hopeful that the day I stop worrying is someday soon.

Coming from someone who fights against their own body every day and also just as a regular ol’ human, worrying about what other people think is a huge waste of energy.

People are going to have their opinions- both good and bad. You do too.

There is no way to control the thoughts and perceptions someone has about you, and frankly, they are not your responsibility.

People are going to have their opinions no matter what, so why waste your energy thinking about it?

3. Feeling guilty about resting

Human beings need rest. Some days you need more rest than others.

Maybe you did too much the day before, you’re getting sick, slept like trash, or just simply need more rest, and it is okay.

If you take time to “rest” but the whole time you’re thinking about how much time you’re wasting, the work you have to do later, the things you’re missing out on, or worrying someone will judge you for resting, you are not actually resting at all.

Just because you are sitting on the couch, you’re not actually resting unless you give your mind full permission to rest.

It took me way too long to figure this out.

Your mind and body are so, so connected. If you are trying to rest your body while stressing yourself out about it, you will do the exact opposite.

4. Feeling guilty about doing what is best for you

Goes back to the last one, but in a much broader sense, feeling guilty about taking care of yourself and doing what is best for you is a huge waste of energy.

You are human. You have needs that will change day-to-day and might be different than other people, and it is okay.

This is your life. Take care of yourself and do what you have to do to make it a life you love.

5. Always worrying you’re doing something wrong

You will make mistakes. Lots of them. You’ll make choices that look pretty bad on paper and be halfway through doing something when you realize it’s not working for you.

There are also going to be things that you do differently than other people but they work great for you.

Just because you do something differently does not mean you’re doing it wrong. If it truly works for you and your life, then go with it, and don’t waste your energy feeling bad about it.

6. Being afraid to say no

Oh hey, this one has it’s own post. Click here to read.

In the short version, you have to say no so you have the time and energy to say yes to the things that make you feel alive.

If you are constantly taking care of everyone else’s needs and ignoring your own, sooner or later you’ll just burn out.

Your energy is precious, and you need it to build a good life for yourself. Stop spreading yourself too thin and see how much more energy you have to live a life you love.

7. Not making time for the things that make you feel alive

When I first got sick, I was dragging through life.

I suddenly had a very minimal amount of energy and it took me a long time to figure out how to maximize it.

I was in a cycle of spending all my energy on the necessities and not leaving any energy to do the things that make me feel alive.

Did I get my work done this way? Sure, at least until I got burnt out.

Again, the mind and body are connected. I have found that the longer I go without doing fun things I love, the less happy I am and end up with even less energy.

So even in your most busy times when you’re working too many hours, have a list of assignments piling up, plus a million other responsibilities, you have to find time for the things that make you feel alive.

Chronically ill or not, you need to protect your energy.

Do what you have to do to maximize your positive energy so you can live a life you love.