Advice From a Sick Girl: How to Make High School Suck Less

I was sick for 7/8 semesters of high school, and as you can probably guess, it sucked. If you’re new here, feel free to read my full story from healthy to sick here.

As brutal as it was, I learned a lot about myself and about life. For this week’s blog post, I put together a list of ways you can make high school a little better based on the experiences I had and the lessons I learned.

It Gets Better When You Stop Caring What People Think

I was chronically ill, but I was also still just a teenager in high school trying to figure it all out. I already worried far too much about what people thought about me just like a lot of people. Add in a limp, a pretty much constantly flushed face, and being pretty quiet from feeling sick and dealing with the grief of processing my new reality, I very much understand how brutal high schoolers can be to one another.

I wish I could say I stopped caring what people thought and never feared judgment, but I did. I worried about it constantly and it sucked up so much of the limited energy I had.

But over time, I did learn to care a little bit less, and I can tell you that it is so much better this way. The less you care about what people think, the less energy and stress you will waste, and you will have more headspace to think clearly, dream, work towards the life you want, and show your personality fully.

It takes a lot of work to truly stop caring what people think, and it definitely won’t happen overnight, so start now.

Remember that School is Only One Part of Your Day

Your life is yours, and school is just one thing you have to do within that.

You have your own personality, style, hobbies, things that excite you, and ways you like to spend your time. Don’t let the idea of school change any of this.

Between the long hours you spend in that building, the homework after it, and the amount the academic and social aspects drain you, sometimes it really feels like school is your entire life.

But it’s not; at least it doesn’t have to be.

In the grand scheme of the whole life you have in front of you, high school is only four years of that.

Then in the short term- in your 24-hour day you only have to spend 6-8 hours there (depending on how long your school day is) then you also get 2 full days away from it every week.

Don’t get me wrong, that is definitely a significant amount of time to spend in one place, especially if you really don’t want to be there, but you still have so much time that is yours.

Aside from the actual time that revolves around school, the stress and social pressure that stick with you long after the last bell rings can also make it feel like school is your life. This was definitely me in high school. Even when I was at home, away from school, I was still worrying way too much about the people and things that really only existed within the school building.

What helped me with this was training my brain to know that when I was not physically at school, the people I saw there, the tests, the presentations, and everything else did not exist in my reality. I also found that social media made this pressure a lot worse, so I made a point to stay away from my phone when I could. I found that when I was laughing with my friends or rock climbing, school rarely crossed my mind.

Fill your time outside of school with the hobbies and things that you love, and distance yourself from social media or anything else you notice gives you stress.

Fall in Love With the Little Things Around You

There are still a lot of things to love around you when you’re at school. It might sound hard to believe, and you might have to search pretty hard for them, but I promise they’re there.

Here are a few things to do or look for when school feels like too much:

• Stop and talk with your favorite teacher
• Look around the room and find things that are your favorite color
• Look out the window and stare at the sky for a moment
• Draw on your paper
• Feel the sun on your skin and remind yourself the same sun would be shining on you no matter where you were or what you were doing.
• While your teacher is talking, find ways to connect their lesson to your life and dreams.
• Hug your friend

You Don’t Need to Worry So Much

Between doctor’s appointments and feeling too sick to go, I missed a lot of classes and school days. I stressed too much about falling behind in school work and that kids in my classes would judge me for missing too much.

Luckily I got used to it and the stress diminished. I had conversations with my teachers about why I was missing school, and nearly all of them were more than understanding and willing to help me catch up.

And for the fear of judgment, this is where I learned that confidence is everything. If I sat down in class after a few days out and acted like it was no big deal, then the people around me followed this and also took the hint that it was no big deal. But when I did the opposite and acted nervous and stressed out, then everyone picked up on this energy instead.

I also did not take a single AP or even an advanced class in high school. “MISSING” and “LATE” were common sights when looking at my grades.

Despite all of that, I finished high school with a good GPA and got into college with scholarships. I got a 504 plan, which was a huge help and I would highly recommend looking into if you have any sort of illness or disability.

I’m not telling you to slack off and never turn an assignment again, what I am trying to say is that you don’t need to put all your time and energy into making every assignment absolutely perfect or feel the weight of the world crashing down when you get a bad grade or don’t turn something in on time.

Work hard always and remind yourself of the academic and career goals you have for yourself to look out for your future self and make sure you get there. But also give yourself grace and remember that you don’t need to be flawless in order to make your dreams happen.

In Terms of Friends, Quality Over Quantity

One of the biggest things I learned from being sick is that a few great friends will always be better than big friend groups and climbing the social ladder.

I lost a lot of friends when I got sick and wasn’t myself anymore. It sucked, but now that I’m on the other side I can tell you that friends come and go. It’s a fact of life, and especially in high school. When this happens, it’s bound to hurt, but remind yourself of the big picture. Everything works out exactly how it’s supposed to, so take a breath and think of how many good people you haven’t even met yet that will love you one day.

That’s All For This Week

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for similar tips in the future. If you are in high school and struggling, I promise it will get better and I’m sending you all my love until then.